Give me a break! I am sick of all these Christmas curmudgeons all pissed off about anything Christmas happening before Thanksgiving.
Do you pay attention to life? It sucks ass! If I died and went to hell I would be sitting at work like I am right now.
Ok perhaps not, the point is that Christmas is fucking great. Screw everyone who gets all Grinch/Scrooge/Simon Cowell about Christmas. It's the one time of year we can be selfless, make others happy, relax, be cozy, get drunk with family, the list goes on. Christmas is a jovial bright happy musical majestic holiday. And if I want to decorate November 1st so what!!! Why are we minimizing the time we celebrate Christmas?
Shit I'd rather put my tree up November 1st and be holly jolly as fuck all the way until New Years than be all like "wah wait til Thanksgiving" and be one of THOSE that goes out shopping on Black Thanksgiving (which it totally is now, you can't deny it. Stores are open on Thanksgiving day WTF).
Let me listen to my damn music and hang my damn lights and stockings and whatever the fuck I want. They are decorations, they don't need to personally offend you.
My dad got upset that my ringtone was All I Want for Christmas is You. I'm like are you for real? I've worked for your Christmas lighting business since I could crack open a beer are you shitting me? It's your fault I even like Christmas this much. We start the season in August - maybe my tree should go up then? For fuck's sake, and for the record, my tree isn't even up yet.
Don't you hate it when you go to the store and you buy something, like a Christmas tree, and the box shows this succulent, gorgeous tree and you're like shit yeah ok. Take it home and like it's a bundle of sticks. And you're looking at these sticks like...what are thooooooose. No idea how these green twigs are going to look like any sort of tree. Nothing wrong with a Charlie Brown tree except that I paid for this luscious looking mother fucker on the box. False advertising!! Or maybe that's what I get for getting a Christmas tree at Dollar General.
Anyway....
I'm not trying to negate Thanksgiving by going straight from Halloween to Christmas. I love Thanksgiving, and the squash, stuffing, pumpkin pie, cranberries, turkey, champagne, and whatever the fuck else people eat/drink on Thanksgiving, it's great! I got my little Santa decorations up with my pumpkin decorations - bitch, WHAT?! Thanksgiving is the tits; I love a good food coma by the fire place, feeding my cat scraps of turkey, and listening to my parents argue. Togetherness with family, whether good or bad, is familiar. And familiar is comforting. And that's why I love the holidays.
Winter is cold and bleak and as soon as the holidays are over we have 2-3 months of dead, frozen, tundra to look forward to. I will milk this time of year for as much as it's worth. And if you say shit to me about it I'll strangle you with a string of lights.
Merry fucking Christmas.
