I had mistakenly assumed I had fulfilled my car accident quota for the next ten years. More like the next month. Watch out for the deer out there my fellow Michiganders - they are little shit fuckers. I think I hit the biggest effin hulk-deer in all Washtenaw County. Aaaaand my insurance claimed my car as totaled - so I'm just a pro at totaling cars. So if you ever need pointers, I'm your lady!
FML.
Winter brings the deer and the cold and I am over these little antlered terds running amok. Get out of the fucking road! How many thousands of deer must be hit by cars til yall learn that roads are dangerous? Stupid deer! I thought evolution was a thing! Why are the deer still retarded? Get your shit together.
And thus ends my irrational "I hate deer" rant. I used to be sad for deer being hunted this time of year.
Now I'm like kill them all.
I heard bad things happen in 3's and I'm like omg no! Stop! God or whoever is up there just stop already - give me a fucking break. If I was anxious about driving after my first accident, now I wanna poop my pants every time I get in the driver's seat. Well that's either the anxiety or the shit ton of coffee I drink every day.
Now that I am thousands of dollars in debt, I feel I'm finally learning how to not waste my money on clothes and booze all the damn time. My parents, worried about my finances, asked me if I had a drug problem.
LOL. Wut
I'm just irresponsible and drink like it's my job. And it's not a drug problem - it's a drug solution. My parent's don't know shit.
I don't know if their inquiry was 100% serious, but it gave me a good chuckle.
Maybe if I sold drugs I wouldn't be so damn broke all the time.
I can't believe I've racked up over a grand on my Cabelas credit card. That's right - Cabelas, because in my town, you're pretty much forced to have one to live here. My coworker and I chortled over the idea of every new born in my little hick town automatically getting a Cabelas card.
We love camo and guns and drinkin beer and fuck you!!
Lol idk, I can make fun of it all I want but I do love it out here. I much prefer the quiet country over the hectic city. I need all the space I can get for my drugs and gun and car accidents and you know.
I'm just winning at life.
My friend told me I had such bad luck, the only thing good in my life were my looks. I guess it's pretty accurate.
Trying to figure out if I have anything else to vent about. I feel like that's all I do on here.
My coworker just asked me about a patient, "why don't you date him? Or is he too young for you?"
I replied, "it's not so much age...but more that he has a penis. I hate everyone - I'm gonna be asexual."
She laughed but I'm almost serious. Fuck this dating shit, bring on the cats. That's right, no shame in being the crazy cat lady. Honestly think it's my calling. Cats need love too!
Whatever, I hate everything.
Cheers!
Kladge
