I've been trying to formulate topics for my blog for the past few weeks and I had been having the worst writer's block. But then I realized I was just sober, and took care of that. Hello!
So not only do I have shitty luck with vehicles, it goes beyond that to other expensive items, like laptops. Mine died, and I gotta cough up $100 to fix it. Which is doable, but god damn can I stop fucking things up I'm not rich enough for this shit.
But I stay positive in these situations. Like, at least I don't have bad luck with, like, venereal diseases or IBS or something gross crap. Lol, crap.
Pun unintended but I'll let it stay.
It's been a month now but I'm still just really glad the holidays are over. Stress piled on work and more stress and black eyes.
Yeah I got a black eye for Christmas fa la la la fuck.
If the goose egg and bruise weren't bad enough, it hurt like a bitch. Knocked me off my feet, and for the record, I was not drunk when I got it.
I think everyone I told about it accused me of being wasted hahaha. I'm like the girl who cried sober. Drunk too often for THAT shit to be true.
Ok ok...so I was a little hung over, but it was the stress! I was in a hurry and when I'm in a hurry, I ram my brow bone into my car apparently.
I think the Escape got it's revenge on me for hitting that deer.
Of course I couldn't get a black eye in a cool way. It was just a case of horrible depth perception.
Idk what a cool way to get a black eye would be.
I went to Nashville for NYE, and one night I was like, "Fuck it, maybe this black eye will get me free drinks."
I didn't get free drinks, but I did get herpes.
LOL jk, it sounded funny in my head, lol, I'm an idiot.
Ok remember, I have good luck with venereal diseases. Like one of the only things I have luck with.
The moral of this story is that I need to wearing a Michelin man costume at all times.
Reaching that sober writer's block again dammit. This weekend I'll be making an ass of myself at Average Joe's if anyone feels like making fun of me. Xo
Kladge/MDW
