Opposed to popular belief, I think that hell is actually really really fucking cold. And instead of hell, it's actually referred to as "winter".
I hate the cold, I hate being out in it, I hate driving in it, I hate shivering all the time, I hate all this polar tundra vortex bull shit.
H-A-T-E
I don't think I'm alone with these thoughts, but I got to thinking... the weather cooling down isn't all completely horrible...I suppose...if I think really hard...and have a few drinks, everything seems better.
Reasons why we shouldn't completely hate winter:
1. Football season -
I mentioned my love of football in a previous post. I may be outside for games /tailgates freezing my tits off, but the game makes it worth it. I think I speak for many of us.
As for those I don't speak for (football haters), tailgates/football parties are fun. Having an excuse to get shit wrecked with your friends and eat chips and salsa can't be a completely bad thing.
I like having a reason to drink so I don't look like more of a drunk than I already do.
2. Winter wardrobe -
Ladies can probably relate to this more. ("Yay, I didn't spend a shit ton on those Ugg boots for nothing!").
I really like my winter coat. It's so comfy I could be buried in that thing I've already had multiple occasions where I've passed out...sober...in it. (Yes, extremely sober).
You want a winter coat that means business hit up Eddie Bauer. After Christmas they usually have better deals (expensive but comfortable sooo it evens out).
3. Christmas -
Christmas is a happy time of year unless you go to a shopping center, or have to spend time with extended family that you'd just rather not.
Just chug the Bailey's and hope for the best.
Christmas parties are fun, especially when it's just you and your pets and the trash can is full of wine bottles and you're passed out in the kitchen.
(That hasn't happened to me, ever!.....) ((It was beer not wine)).
Online shop, oh my god online shop. Black Friday is the devil and if you're one of those who goes out on Thanksgiving night to get shit then shame on you, and the stores having people work. What is wrong with people?
4. Skiing/Snowmobiling/other freezing outdoor activities -
Some people like that shit. I don't, so I don't have much of an opinion on it. I'd rather be inside watching Weeds on Netflix cuddled with my cat.
But I guess it's fun...?
(I think I'd be better at writing a blog about the parallels of winter with Satanism).
5. It can be pretty -
For all you avid photographers, the scenery can be nice, if you're inside and warm and not out in it. Windows were a great fucking invention let me tell you.
But seriously, all the icicles with the sun shining on the snow and shit, I like that. Not that sun comes out, ever, between November-February but if you catch those elusive moments, kudos.
6. Well I am drawing a blank. I have tried to think of good things about winter so tears aren't freezing to my face for 4 months.
I might add more reasons as time goes on, but I take way too long to posts these damn things so....
Cheers! Just get really drunk/high/hibernate and the winter won't seem as bad. It's still gonna suck dick, but not as much dick.
Don't leave your beers outside over night! Unless they're shitty light beers...then it doesn't matter.
Kladge
